


Chosen

by DawnsEternalLight



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7940872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnsEternalLight/pseuds/DawnsEternalLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the back of his mind, Damian has always wondered if he really belongs with his family, and if Bruce really wants him. When he expresses these feelings after a fight with Bruce, he learns how his father really feels about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chosen

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a headcannon originally posted by whore4batfam on tumblr. If you haven't read their stuff, I highly recommend you do, it's amazing.

Time was supposed to be the healer of all wounds right? Damian didn’t believe it, not at least at this current juncture in his life. He had hoped that after working with his Father for as long as he had, he’d trust him a little more, or at least be willing to listen.

“What happened out there tonight, Damian?” It wasn’t a question, but an accusation, one that demanded an answer.

“I did what I had to, Father,” his voice was as clipped as Bruce’s and Damian didn’t care, this conversation was one they’d had too often for his tastes and he was tired of it.

“You almost killed him.”

“But, I didn’t.”

“That’s not the point, being Robin means showing restraint.”

There it was, the lesson Damian had known was coming, the same lesson he’d learned countless times while with Grayson and later with his Father. The same lesson he’d put into play tonight during their fight. The man had been a killer -a child killer- and Damian could have easily killed the man, but he’d made a promise and he wouldn’t break it. Not that his Father seemed to believe him.

Bruce never seemed inclined to believe Damian. They’d been working together for longer than he had with Grayson, and been through so much more and yet it still seemed to him that sometimes Father still seemed to think of him as the old Damian instead of who he was now.

Damian couldn’t help but wish sometimes that Grayson was still Batman or that he was Damian’s partner instead. Grayson trusted him, or at least knew him well enough to understand his intentions during a battle. Most days his father still didn’t even seem to want him around, let alone take time to discuss his reasoning during battle.  

Damian knew he was being harsh, but how else was he supposed to feel when they argued more than they talked about these kinds of things? He took in a breath, perhaps that was the problem, he retaliated more often than he should. Talking was always the better option, no matter who started it.

He managed to ease the irritation out of his voice and hoped he sounded as sincere as he felt, “If you would let me explain what happened, I think you’d understand the situation a bit better, Father.”

“I saw what happened. I don’t think explaining it will change that fact,” Father was still angry with him, and Damian felt a pang in his chest, he wanted this to go well, go better, and it wasn’t.

“You’re not listening—”

“No, you’re not listening, I didn’t choose you as Robin so you could do this, Damian.”

“You didn’t choose me at all,” the words were out before he had time to think about them, to consider the complications that would come with speaking them. Even so, he wasn’t sure he would take them back if given the choice.

It was a fear that dug at him all the time, Father hadn’t chosen him. He never had. One way or another Damian had always been a surprise to his father. First in being his son, second in being Robin. So much of what they’d been through over the years should have been confirmation that his father had accepted him -he’d brought him back to life after all- and yet deep down Damian was still afraid it wasn’t true.

“What?” Bruce blinked at him, thrown by this sudden change of conversation.

“Grayson chose me, you never did. You chose every one of them over your own son. I was the best, the most qualified, and still you never once asked me to be your Robin.”  

Silence filled the cave as Bruce took in those words. Damian studied his face, searched for something that might tell him what was going on inside his father’s mind. Praying when he found it, that he’d see the truth, that he’d see how his father did want him.

Instead he found confirmation of his fears, his father’s face set in a hard line, and Damian decided he couldn’t stand to hear the words. His chest was already aching, and his head was hurting with the effort to hold back unbidden tears. He spun on his heel and stomped towards the cave’s exit to the Manor. Moments later, he was pulled back as a hand grabbed his cape followed by:

“Damian, wait.”

It was the way he’d said the words that stopped Damian. Contrary to what he’d seen on his father’s face his voice was gentle, pleading even. Caution made him turn slowly as his cape was released by his father who knelt in front of him.

“You’re right. I did choose Dick, Jason, Tim, and Stephanie. You were—”

“Unwanted? A surprise? Your worst nightmare come to pass?” They were all words he’d attributed to himself before, “I’ve never really belonged here, have I? And you were never going to pick me, were you?”

The questions, said out loud hurt worse than they’d felt when thought. It was like saying them made them real, no matter what he did the only person who’d ever seemed to want him was Grayson.

Bruce shook his head, and put a hand to Damian’s shoulder, “Now you’re the one not understanding. Damian, I didn’t have to pick you, you were a gift.”

“What?” he didn’t understand; how could his father see him as a gift? He’d been nothing but trouble, nothing but an invader. How could that be turned into something as pleasant as a gift?

“I’ll admit; I didn’t recognize you as one at first. But believe me when I tell you that while you were something I didn’t know I needed, now that I have you I can’t imagine life any other way. Gift’s are never chosen, Damian. So yes, I didn’t chose you, but do you really think I ever had to?”

“Then you would choose me, if you had the chance?” He felt like he was beginning to comprehend his father’s words, but the question still had to be asked.

He was shocked when instead of answering straightaway, his father pulled him into an embrace. There was a difference in Grayson’s hugs and his father’s. For one, where Grayson’s hugs were tight, Bruce’s hugs were all encompassing. Bear hugs he believed Grayson had called them. There was something about being surrounded in his father’s embrace that melted the last bit of doubt in Damian’s heart, even before he heard his father’s words: “In a heartbeat.”  At hearing them, Damian decided that at last he might be able to believe them.


End file.
